What happens when you experience a wound tight love?
True love is a beautiful experience, and being in love can wind up beautiful moments. Those who experience love in friendship or a romantic relationship, testify to the bliss, happiness, and contentment that surrounds such emotion. Little wonder, real friends invest a lot in their friendship, and lovers can’t seem to get enough of each other.
However, life comes with uncertainties, which proves that even beautiful love experiences have its challenges and flaws. Only people living in their fantasies will believe that a “perfect relationship,” one without issues, exists.
How do we put it? Perfect love itself has its excesses. While one can be happy, kind, content, caring, and selfless as a result of love, one can equally be sad, selfish, obsessed, abusive, and rigid because of this same emotion.
When such reality dawns on us, it is easier to understand that a wound tight love is not in any way healthy. A real relationship founded on love, understanding, tolerance, and a realistic view can help strengthen the bond between partners. Many people live in denial to fulfill their fantasy in what love should be, rather than what it is. They end up being wound too tight for love.
A wound tight love leads to a toxic relationship for both partners, with one more affected than the other. Being wound tight in love begets fears, insecurities, lack of trust, obsession, unrequited concerns, and responsibilities towards the relationship. This, in turn, leads to desiring control over everything, and nothing being good enough.
For instance, a man that is wound too tight in love, will at first think the world of his lady. He will always see her as being perfect, and when she keeps on making mistakes (just being human), he tries to turn a blind eye. When it doesn’t work, he becomes frustrated and starts enforcing his idealistic notion of what a relationship is on her. If he can’t achieve that, he turns to control her or decides to end it there and vow never to love again because he got his heartbroken.
The man was wound too tight in love, without being realistic. He also became judgmental at another point, forgetting that “to err is human.” Many relationships lack substance because they are built on fantasy with disregard for reality. Relationships end prematurely between partner (s) who fail to realize that they have to deal with another imperfect human-like themself.
They fail to realize that after the romance and intoxicating lust, love wears off, their partner is just like every other person who has her own goals, expectations, attitude, background, mindset, and ideology in their lives.
How does one become wound too tight?
Being wound too tight in love can be caused by various reasons or precipitated by some ideas. These may include:
- Lack of self-love
- Unrealistic expectations about life and relationships
- Projecting of personal fantasy on one’s reality
- Being judgmental
- Sexual frustration
- Traumatic relationships of the past
Signs that show that one is wound too tight in love
1. You always want to be perfect and hate to show your flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections.
2. You want your relationship to be just as you have ever imagined.
3. You want your partner to fit into a precise description of a perfect person.
4. Criticizing every move made by your partner once it doesn’t fit into your “perfect relationship” status.
5. Being defensive and closed-minded.
6. Being afraid to love again.
7. When all you seek is a physical connection or sexual release over enjoying the company of your partner.
8. Wanting control over your partner to determine his or her actions to attain a “perfect relationship.”
9. Comparing your relationship with those of your friends or people you model your relationship after.
10. Not reasoning when it comes to the objectives and goals of your relationship.
How to overcome being wound too tight in love?
- Love yourself
What does it mean to love someone? How do you like someone else, when you don’t love yourself? What love can you give to someone when you possess none? Self-love is an essential component of other types of love. The basis of all forms of love is self-love, be it friendship, family love, romantic love. It is when you love, respect yourself that you can do so for another person.
Many relationships are toxic because a lot of people do not love themselves. As if that is not enough, they project their insecurities, flaws, imperfections, and fears on those around them. This is why they look for someone else to give them that love they desire.
They are left unsatisfied. This is because such persons are the ones who can offer themselves, such love. You are the only one that can love yourself unconditionally; no one else can. Hence, you must first love yourself before you can love someone else.
Work on yourself, develop self-worth, believe in yourself, and be happy with who you are. Accept yourself wholeheartedly with your flaws, fears, and imperfections. It is when you embrace the rights and wrongs about yourself that you will have no doubt showing it to someone else.
- Have a realistic mindset
Being realistic is what has helped little people live through life despite all the challenges and uncertainties in life. Humans will always be humans. We are a creature with flaws, fears, insecurities, secrets, bad habits, selfish attitude, and sometimes unwelcomed behaviors. When you understand that no human is devoid of those attributes, then and only then can you learn to live with a realistic mindset. This will aid your tolerance of specific actions and situations because it is what makes us humans.
Your embrace of reality avails you not to live in fantasy but in the real world. The actual world where a good relationship is based on understanding, love, tolerance, care, and affection. The real-life where there is no “perfect relationship” or “perfect partner.”
- Get to know your partner correctly.
Lots of people enter relationships without having in-depth information about their partner. They stick to surface knowledge and accept that it is enough to build a relationship. Then they are confronted with the truth, and behold; they want out.
An understanding of your partner helps to create a lasting and reliable connection. Also, if you want your relationship to work, you have to accept your partner for who they are, except if they are criminals or people you can’t tolerate. That is not even the end of the world.
- Explore and accept your sexuality
Your sexuality is the core of your being. You cannot throw it away. Instead, a thorough exploration and acceptance can help you lead a fulfilling life. A lot of people search for someone to help them satisfy their desires without even knowing what those desires are. The attempt at love is just ‘pouring water in a basket.”
The sooner you accept that you are a sexual being and that your partner must be one that will help satisfy your sexual desires, the lesser the probability of wounding too tight in love. So, embrace your sexuality for what it is.
- Be open-minded and seek help from associations or groups that help people in a wound tight love relationship.
There are groups here and there that aim to help people that are afraid of getting into a relationship as a result of past traumatic relationships. These groups allow you to open up and heal. This prevents such persons from making such mistakes again. All you need is to log in to your browser, search for articles on wound tight love, and find suggestions on groups to join.
In conclusion, being wound too tight in love is unhealthy. It can lead to a bitter and disappointing life, among other things. This article entails necessary pointers to prevent you from being trapped in a web of wound tight love. It also contains useful tips on how you can draw yourself out of such bitter experience if you are already going through one. The ball is in your court to avoid such circumstances and to live a better experience.
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